i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
