Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
