I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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