PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize