her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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