I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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