btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
