so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
