I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
