i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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