yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
