i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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