Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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