So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Randomize
