two words: eviction party
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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