Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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