Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize