dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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