so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
