I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
