your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
