Yo dont text me then not text me
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
