Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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