shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
