Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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