the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
