why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
