a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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