i barfeds in our rink
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
