If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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