Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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