The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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