There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
