All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
