Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
