Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
there's paper in my vomit.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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