His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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