you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
A+ Viking dick
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
