Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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