i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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