I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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