The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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