3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
that may or may not have been my penis.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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