I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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