Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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