How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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