K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
