No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
