i think my mom watched the whole time
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
