the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize