you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
