Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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