Already got asked if we're dating
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You did what with his pubic hair?
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