He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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