She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
