I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
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gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
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Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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