she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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