I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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