Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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