While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
